Sunday, September 30, 2012

Week 29

 I'd wanted to put on the painting this quote, "It's the things we share that remind us we're not alone."  I 've used the quote before, it's a fav.  But it seemed a little long, and composition wise I liked all that was already going on.  Sometimes you gotta know when to say when.  Right?  But seriously,  I do like to share a lot of myself here in blog world.  It makes me feel a part of something great.  Like a great big circle of friends right here when I need.  Anytime.  So this painting is all about symbolism.  Raining, umbrella, birds, bikes...yeah it's all there.  I could explain it all.  But rather I'd like you to get from the painting whatcha need.  It may just make you smile, it may make you go oh yeah...I need that umbrella, or it may make you want to go grab your bike and ride.  Whatever you get from my sweet, simple paintings I just want you to remember this.  They are all made with thought, love and care.  Always.
Now, I am off to take a nap.  Yesterday's run has feel like I've been run over by a truck and I'm in that first trimester of pregnancy all wound in one tight ball.   You know the trimester where you could fall asleep standing up you are so tired.  Geeeeshhhh....zzzzzzzzzzz......

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Week 27

Is it my eyes or do all the photos in tonight's blog posts look blurry?  Geesh.  I'm getting computer eyes.  No, I'm sure this is blurry.  dang.  My camera needs to be serviced.  ASAP. 

Anyhoo....Here's the painting that hid on my art desk all week.  Stared at me while I got 2 custom paintings finished.  And never said a word.  I guess it was just waiting for the perfect time to reappear and have me finish it.  No doubt.  I really love this painting   I found a tube of blue paint I'd forgotten about and went bezerk with it in this painting.  Seriously.  It's also making a huge appearance in week 28.  Seeing as how they have merged into one week and all.  I feel there needs to be a word on the bottom right hand curve of the green band.  When I find it, I'll add it.  Why not.  This may end up being the floater week painting.  hahaha...

Simple...sweet...imagery.  I'm definitely loving this groove.  See ya back later in the week.  Week 28 is almost done!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Week 28

Well, there it is, hiding on the back of my desk.  I started it last Sunday morning while drinking yummy peppermint hot cocoa.  And then I never came back to it.  Last night while finishing up 2 custom paintings I saw it there and just laughed at myself.  It had been staring at me all week behind the paintbrushes.  I've not missed a week yet!  And I'll be darned if week 28 didn't just fly by.  Oh well.  I'll get it painted tonight.  I think.  Homework is killing us this year with Mailey.  2 hours a night!!  Although yesterday we went to the eye doctor with her and she is literally blind in her left eye.  Now things make sense on many levels....and perhaps why it takes her hours to complete tasks.  She can't frinkin' see!!  It was a very humbling moment for me in the eye doctor's room when she was either saying letters backwards or couldn't see them at all.  And since I can literally see the bottom line on the eye chart without was a heart stabbing bad Momma bear moment indeed!  Thank goodness our county does eye checks on the kids in 3rd and 5th grades.  She failed Friday and by golly on Monday I had her at the doctor.  Today we pick up her glasses.  She's so excited! 

So, a week went by and a canvas went uncompleted.  But that's okay.  Some things are just more important.  It's taken me awhile to be able to say that.  It used to be that everything I did was more important.  Some call it self-centered.  I called it driven.  Now I'm driven in different ways as I mentioned on my studio blog Saturday.  So the fact that the canvas above is not complete is okay.  It'll get done, eventually.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Week 27

I talk alot about feelings and friends and stuff like that over on my studio blog.  Yeah....too much sometimes I think.  I simply can not help it.  I wear my heart on my sleeve and my mouth is just a flapping at all times.  I like to interject....I like to tell my stories.....I like to offer comfort by sharing.......I like to vent......I like to complain (hopefully not too much!)........but most of all I just want to be heard.  I was raised in a family that all talked.  Heck I come from a family of preachers.  You don't get away without talking with that in your blood!  You should be at a Lewis family gathering.  OOOOwwweeeeee...are we LOUD and fun!  Especially now that most all of us are old enough to enjoy Becky and John's wine cellar! 

Anyhoo....I like to make new friends.  It's like a whole new adventure.  Sharing stories that old peeps are super tired of hearing and all.  Fresh set of ears mind you.  Yeah.  Last week the little friend above, little Clementine found her way to my work.  I am just about outta my skin with excitement about her.  And although she's a new friend that really can't listen, or talk........she does represent a shift, a change in my being.

Last night while running my 5 mile train I started thinking, because what else am I supposed to do while running for an hour, right?  I started thinking that:
A.  I FINALLY feel better.  For a spell there I thought something was really wrong with me.  I had a bout of the sickies.  I don't do sick well.  Period.  I simply do not have time for that. 
B.  I am really, really loving the routine our family has found.  We need to work on together time more.  But as a unit, our schedules are much calmer.  And when Momma is happy, it just seems everything falls into place so very nicely.  Yeah.
C.  Teaching fullfils me in a way I can not place words on.  I am satisfied to a point where I come home and do not feel the need to prove myself in the studio.  To prove that I can do this show and that show and make this and make that.  Nope.  I am simply painting and creating when I want to.  And as you can see, its making my work much sweeter!
D.  Worry is less.  I am a worry wart by nature.  Talking and worrying.  I do those things well.  But lately I realized I am not as worried about the things I used to worry about.  It has a lot to do with A-C I am sure.  I was freaking out a tad about money for a few days in August.  Geesh if everything doesn't come due at once!  Plus my husband had a minor surgery in June and danged if it hasn't cost us an arm and a leg!  And they want it NOW.  Not later.  Yeah, that's been a fun to pay.  But that is leveling out too...and I'm not worrying about that anymore either. 

So anyways....the shift I was feeling a few weeks ago, well it was a good shift.  My heart, body and soul were moving into a comfy spot for a spell.  I do hope it sticks around.  I kinda like life this way.  It's good for me.  And I can tell on the outside that this new life is agreeing with me as well. 

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Half-Way Through

When I started this journey in March I was super excited about the potential.  It has been an easy weekly goal to make.  And the ideas have come and gone seamlessly.  I've totally enjoyed the entire process thus far.  At about week 10 I had to figure out what to do with all the canvases as they were completed.  One thing I was not going to do is wait til the last minute to add stain to the edges, sign and add hangers.  Nope.  Not gonna be freaking out in March with 52 canvases to finish!!  Right outside my studio entrance was this thin unfinished wall.  So I started hanging them up!
If you've been to a PSW workshop you've seen the progression.  It's kind of cool to see all the canvases hanging together.  Already there are some I really do not like.  HA.  And some I am going to have a very hard time letting go of. 
Well, the wall filled and so I added one of my screens to the edge and started hanging the rest on these.  By the time March 2013 rolls around I have a  feeling all the grids are going to be up!
I love the sense of accomplishment this is giving me.  Weekly I am finding the ideas becoming more personal....the paintings more intimate.  I am also finding my thread again.  Painting regularly is giving me confidence.  And slowly they are beginning to look like a wonderful collection of tiny memories, thoughts and dreams.  I am ever grateful that God has given me this gift.  Really....I can not imagine my life without the brush.
So I look forward to the next 26 weeks...scattering a little more joy one stroke at a time!

Monday, September 3, 2012

Week 26

As I was cleaning out the studio recently I found a vintage speller practice book.  It's one of those treasures that I'm afraid to use.  Isn't that funny?  But seriously I'm afraid to cut it up!  I love the illustrations in it and the color schemes.  Forgot to upload a pic...sorry.  One page was full of hot air balloons with spelling words in each balloon.  And it hit me.  I've not done hot air balloons!  So I set the sights this week on this idea.  And love the way it turned out.

And since I made some pretty confident decisions this week about my artsy business the words just seemed appropriate.  And you know how I love hearts.  Bikes, trucks, campers....they all get led by floaty hearts.  I puffy heart that. 
Well....week 26.  That means I'm half-way done with this journey through my 40th year.  Wow.  I'll be posting later this week a sneek peek at all the paintings.  It's a really cool sight.  So I'll see you back here this week!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Week 25....Moving our Hearts

One year ago this week we moved our hearts from Ivy Springs Drive to French Village Blvd.
Alot of changes have happened in these 12 months.  Not just buying a new house.  But a new life really.  I started teaching full-time.  Decided to paint 52 canvases in my 40th year.  Made the big decision to stop participating in art shows.  Started the PSW workshop series.  Made many, many changes to our new home.  Billy decided to not run for his State Seat again.  Friendships ended, new ones started.  I made a commitment to run 13.1 miles.  Started Southern Circle Retreats with Tiffin.  And more.....those are just the ones that stand out to me the most.
As I sit in the quiet house now (the family is scattered here and there today....nice for Momma bear) I reflect on the year that has gone by so quickly.  This week I faced some interesting numbers as far as my artsy business goes.  And realized that sometimes the sacrifices you make to support your family take a toll on living the dream.  I fight this.  Tooth and nail I do.  I try to do it all.  Family, work, art, run, church, friends.....but you know what.  Something has to give.  A part of me thinks what would life be like right this second if we still lived at 64.  If we'd not taken this huge leap of faith and bought 120.  I don't like that side of my personality really.  The what if side.  It drags me down.  In fact here's a huge truth, today I was running my 9 mile training run and the 93 Million Miles song by Jason Mraz came on.  I broke down and sobbed.  Of course that was it for the run.  Ha.  Right now I feel 93 million miles away from where I want to be.  But I love the direction I am going in.  It's where I belong.  And as his song says, "you can always come home".

So here's what I told myself.....Teach more.....scatter joy more.....and live more.  Embrace this life you've been so blessed to have received.  Believe that you can dream bigger, just a little different than what you thought was what you needed.  Move past the idea that in order to be successful you have to have so much.  Let go and just be.  I am a painter.  A dreamer.  And a doer.  And I intend to continue doing amazing things with a whole heart.   A heart that now resides at 120.