Week 40

Ahhh. week 40.  12 weeks away from the end of my 40th year.  Whoa.  12 weeks away!!  Yes, the paintings will be ready.  That's a sigh of relief, but Vero always asks for other things to sell during solo shows.  Like pillows, frames, jewelry etc....I gotta get on that ball!  So this week I wanted to share the whole enchilada with you.  From start to finish.  Including the drama before the painting started.  Here goes.  (You might want to go pee first, this is a long post.  Or get a drink of choice.  Snack too while you are at it.)

Teaching is a blessing.  It truly is.  But on days when I teach all day, then teach 25 after school kids all under the age of 7 who do not like to shut up for one second long enough for me to give adequate instructions....well it makes for one stress ball of a Momma bear upon my arrival home.  Add a trip to the Publix in Tyrone that I've yet to figure out the lay out of.....well.  I was just spent.  So I did what I know to do.  Put on my running shoes.  Of course by the end of the run it was getting dark, so only a short 3 miles in, but better some than none no doubt!  After the run I quickly heated up the taco meat I'd prepared the night ahead (yes, I do stuff like that to make my life easier.  I'm smart that way.)  We ate a quick meal and Billy was off to bible study.  This was all by 6:15 BTW. 

In our den we have a giant green ball that no matter where we hide it, reappears in the den.  It's a yoga ball.  My children however like to use it as a gymnastics trick ball, a giant basketball, giant kick ball, giant dodge ball.  You see where this is going?  So Momma bear being up to her eyeballs by 6:15ish with school kid stress from the day does NOT need giant green ball stress.  Ironic no?  It's a freakin' YOGA ball.  Of course there is yelling on my part.  And kids yelling back, "Why are you yelling at us?"  And then Mailey gets hurt.  Of course.  So I get a glass of water and stomp to the basement studio.  Where the glitter mess is still lingering in the carpet because I used SPRAY glue to add glitter to my magical tree garden.  So the glitter is spray glued to the carpet (ok...I wasn't that stupid.  I did have a giant piece of paper down.  But Julie and Mailey joined my tree fun and made a giant mess which I do not want to discuss because it made me super mad.)  Urghhhh.....I get out the shop vac and get some of it up.  Mailey is still upstairs crying that her hand is broken.  It's not BTW.

So the world seemed to calm down upstairs.  I can hear everything in the basement that goes on upstairs.  Like coming through the ceiling gonna fall on my head and crush me hear.  So I settle in to paint week 40.  Because like running, it calms me down and makes me whole.  I already had the image in my head.  And the word.  Because this word has been on my mind this week alot:

Here's what I am wishing for these days:
1-  a calmer holiday season.....where instead of worrying about how everyone is reacting to what I am doing with who, I just enjoy the moment with who I am with.
2-  a wee more time to paint. because that makes me very happy.
3-  my anxiety to stay at bay for the next few weeks.  I had such a bad attack last week I thought my kids were going to have to learn to drive.
4-  unexpected joy
5-  my children find their joy for being with one another again.  I really miss that.  Like really.
6-  my husband will get home before 6:30 one night so we can have dinner as a family at the table
7-  my art students will just chillax a bit.  they are like monkeys in a cage right now.
8-  my decision to move booth spaces from one business to another will go smoothly and without gossip
9-  my heart will learn to just let go of some relationships
10-  lastly I wish for the correct door to be revealed in my creative path.  there are many in view right now.  just not sure which skeleton key to use.  it seems this past year I've opened one too many doors with the black holes.  I am really ready for a bubble gum pink painted room with crystal chandelier.  yep.

There's my dainty wishing star above.  I just love the way this painting turned out.  But it didn't start this way.  In fact, I painted over more in this painting than I ever do.  Not to sound braggy, but as a general rule I paint without hesitation and without thought.  It just flows.  But given the green ball issue, glitter situation, Publix shopping, short run, monkey teaching long day....I was a tad outta sorts.   

 It started as I envisioned.  Yeah!  Colors going down below:

 Ok...not liking the yellow as much as I thought.  Or gray.  Hmmmm....

 Holy cheesecracker....crap.  Looks like crap.  Oh, I should mention my sweet hubby wandered down to check on me at this point.  I guess the kids told them I lost my rocker and stomped off to the basement.  They always tattle tale on me.   Seriously those stars are awful!!  The bottom half is amazing.  The top half is ruining it.  urghhhhh.....Your eye just sits in the yellow.  Not good.

 So I start adding white.  White is my go-to when paintings start looking like crap.  White is a magical color.  Oh, and notice the shooting star is gone.  Too literal.  But this white just accentuates the yellow.  Like little targets in the right hand corner.  Not good.  Hmmm....

 Better...but too messy.  Oh, screw the stars.  More white paint on the palette.  Note to self.  Buy more white paint.

 Oh wow.....now I like it.  But got to have a star.  Ooooo...Stabilo pencil star!

So that was it.  My night in the studio.  Which come to think of it I never get in the studio during the week.  I am pretty much a single Mom and taxi during the week.  I guess my little hissy fit worked.  Yeah, I didn't spend any quality time with the kids last night.  But sometimes you have to separate yourself from what's causing you stress in order to get back to your sane self.  I even got to take a Calgon bath last night and read!  And have a conversation with Billy.  Man.  Maybe wishes do come true?

Well.  Week 40 you are half-way over.  Tonight is our family TV night so I gotta go.  I hid the green ball real good BTW.  It's been a stress-free night come to think about it.  Plus I got a 5 mile run in before dark.  1.5 of it in sleet.  That was kinda cool I got to admit.  So the fire is ready.  My wine glass is full and the fresh guacamole is on the plate.  Life is good.  Tonight anyways.