Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Canvas #1

It's done!  Canvas #1 is done!  It was fun...and yet a little nerve wracking.  Why you ask?  Well the pressure to make a perfect little canvas for #1 was a little crazy (of course all self inflicted).  I don't usually worry when working, I just go with it.  And since I have a million little sketches and ideas in my head at once the ideas come running out the brain, not skipping.  But it's done.  Whew.  Now the pressure is off and I can start running again! 

So the thoughts behind the painting....I wanted to paint my favorite little blue bird Mattie.  The little bird that started this creative journey.  She's under an umbrella.  It's her birthday....and it's raining.  Just in case you don't live around my parts, it just happened to be raining Monday, on my special day.  So yep, symbolism in it's most simple form.  Plus I like painting umbrellas and birdies. But there's more.  Did you notice the drops in the bottom?  They are little upside down hearts.  I just feel a lot of this lately....puffy hearts, love, emotions, all bundled into one gaint cloud.  Last week I literally let it ALL fall out over and over again.  And perhaps that's why I painted the umbrella too.  I was sheltering myself from the rain.  And from my heart breaking.  I really love being a teacher.  But quickly I've come to realize that I absorb every child, and all their emotions and all their angst and all their fears and all their problems.  And I want to fix the problems, hug their hearts and give them my umbrella.  But I can't.  I just can not keep giving out the umbrella.  Because it is soaking me to the bone and making me worn slap out.  I'm not saying I'm not going to keep teaching with all my heart and soul.  But I am going to let go a little.  And be an amazing example of living a joyful life.  Because I firmly believe that being an example to these children may be what they need to see.  These little visual learners absorb so much all day.  So much of which is crappy.  If I can present myself daily as a joyful, spiritual woman who embraces life with whole heartedness, maybe.... just maybe, they'll pass the umbrella along one day. 
 
In case you were wondering what the medium was.  I'll be sharing some behind the scenes later this week so check back!  For now, enjoy, "Raining on My Special Day".

8 comments:

  1. Yay, the first one has to be the hardest now that everyone is watching and waiting, LOL. No pressure. Just have fun and go for it!

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  2. Beautiful . . . the canvas, your post and your puffy heart!

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  3. You can be their umbrella by being your true self everyday. I see so many students who have crappy home lives, but they come to art and actually have fun for a change. Its a place where they can go and forget about their problems. But you are right...you can't help everyone. And it is very very draining of your emotions. And what I find amazing is that so many students have never had the opportunity to work with art supplies! I can't imagine what my life would be like without my art supplies and the time that I can spend in my happy place! Thank you for teaching art! We need more just like you!

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  4. proud to call you my new friend! sandy

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  5. WOW - love it all - the feelings behind the art - the idea of painting your way thjrough this special year - and the canvas itself. I'll look forward to the "behind the scenes story".

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  6. Yay!! I'm so excited that you're taking this journey!! I can't wait to follow along :)

    And, I adore your #1. It's perfect!!

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