Week 25....Moving our Hearts

One year ago this week we moved our hearts from Ivy Springs Drive to French Village Blvd.

Alot of changes have happened in these 12 months.  Not just buying a new house.  But a new life really.  I started teaching full-time.  Decided to paint 52 canvases in my 40th year.  Made the big decision to stop participating in art shows.  Started the PSW workshop series.  Made many, many changes to our new home.  Billy decided to not run for his State Seat again.  Friendships ended, new ones started.  I made a commitment to run 13.1 miles.  Started Southern Circle Retreats with Tiffin.  And more.....those are just the ones that stand out to me the most.

As I sit in the quiet house now (the family is scattered here and there today....nice for Momma bear) I reflect on the year that has gone by so quickly.  This week I faced some interesting numbers as far as my artsy business goes.  And realized that sometimes the sacrifices you make to support your family take a toll on living the dream.  I fight this.  Tooth and nail I do.  I try to do it all.  Family, work, art, run, church, friends.....but you know what.  Something has to give.  A part of me thinks what would life be like right this second if we still lived at 64.  If we'd not taken this huge leap of faith and bought 120.  I don't like that side of my personality really.  The what if side.  It drags me down.  In fact here's a huge truth, today I was running my 9 mile training run and the 93 Million Miles song by Jason Mraz came on.  I broke down and sobbed.  Of course that was it for the run.  Ha.  Right now I feel 93 million miles away from where I want to be.  But I love the direction I am going in.  It's where I belong.  And as his song says, "you can always come home".

So here's what I told myself.....Teach more.....scatter joy more.....and live more.  Embrace this life you've been so blessed to have received.  Believe that you can dream bigger, just a little different than what you thought was what you needed.  Move past the idea that in order to be successful you have to have so much.  Let go and just be.  I am a painter.  A dreamer.  And a doer.  And I intend to continue doing amazing things with a whole heart.   A heart that now resides at 120.